i was talking to one of my good friends recently and it really amuses me how she told me of this ongoing drama with her life. first, let me tell you about this friend–she’s one of those people who sees their life in a cinematic, melodramatic way. she emphasizes on the "tragedy" of things and lives for moments worth storing in pictures, stills and sound. anyway, her main tragedy for now is her virtual non-existence in the eyes of this guy–let’s call him whatsisface–whom she have been pining on for sometime now.
i don’t get what makes whatsisface special…he doesn’t look that appealing at all. let’s just say that there are days that he epitomizes a typical pretty boy while there are days that–when you look at him, all you can is "aaaaack…" anyway, i really don’t want to take shite on him, especially that my friend feels like he owns the universe sometimes. so…me the ever reliable listener asked, "so what was the problem…?"
my friend said (albeit in her most serious and solemn tone ever) "he treats me like as if i don’t exist, he doesn’t pay attention to me, he always gives me the 3rd degree. the funny thing is, he is quite the opposite to other people. he can be friendly to some people at one point, aloof and menacing to me the next." suffice to say, it was her non-existence on the eyes of her destiny that bugs her no end.
stories such as this never fail to amuse me. hearing her talk made me think of highschool and oft-unrequite highschool looove. while my friend admits that she feels "stupid and like a nerdy highschooler"–it is his indifference to her that makes her mad. remember when we were in highschool and our objects-of-affection never paid any attention to us, maybe even if we kill ourself? it was a case of pure teenage agony, pure telenovela, teen-soap drivel that kills us…(sometimes because of extreme kabaduyan and kajologsan).
while i had my share of pure teenage hearbreak drivel (mine started in college, i was a hopelessly boyish in good ol’ saint ann back then), it’s hard sometimes to even bring back the agony and the kilig that i felt back then. maybe because now i’m in a semi-sane relationship or…maybe because i have grew up quite a lot? that’s why even for a while, i basked in sharing that agony and the melodrama that is experienced by my friend.
being my witty (hehe) self, i offered her some explanations why she doesnt exist in whatsisface’s universe. here are just some:
1. he’s gay (which i guess is not true, considering how he packaged himself)
2. she’s not his type (my friend had some arguments with this one–quite expected, of course)
3. he’d rather off alone (the usual line of guys)
4. he doesn’t have time for a relationship
5. torpe siya
6. he’s smarting from a failed relationship (to which my friend screamed, "ok lang maging rebound girl…i had to threaten her so she’d shut up)
7. nagpapakipot lang si whatsisface…try and try until you die from embarassment
8. he’s just that way. what he do doesnt mean anything at all.
9. he’s waiting for my friend to make the first move.
10. she doesn’t really exist in his universe (HAHAHA)
anyway, her story just got me into thinking about college and the life after that in terms of how people have grown relationship-wise. it’s nice when people finally found their respective "other half", but there are times when you just have to look further, search further.
my friend’s problem is amusing and hisgschoolish, definitely. but like i’ve told her: if the agony of it all makes you happy and mushy and shitty and happy all at the same time…ENJOY IT. it’s only once when we experience this awful mixture of emotions. for some, it was back in highschool, for some it’s a continuous experience.
revel in the heartbreak…until maybe who knows, you’ll grow out of it. at the end of the day, you’d sit on your bed and say, "hey…it’s not that bad."
